Posts Tagged ‘Birthday’

Best Friend has decided that we need to start planning my fortieth birthday party NOW. She is giving herself roughly eighteen months to get it done, which I think is going to be ample as really, my idea of a good party is family and friends all in a warm space wherein we can hear each other. So, I would be deliriously happy with a Boeuf Bourguignon, an awful lot of Burgundy and thirty people. If that were followed by Wife’s Blackberry and Apple crumble, I think that I would have achieved everything that I really want to in life.

She has a different point of view.

In order to illustrate just how different (and what a remarkable friendship ours is to bear this sort of disparity not just with ease, but with pleasure), I will share the following , which is from an e-mail that she sent me last night:-

Dwarves dressed as little ballet fairies on fly wires to serve the Champagne sort of swooping past you and filling it as they fly past.

Dwarves painted (not dressed) as mushrooms that we’d sit on.

Dwarves with horse hooves, rabbit skin groin smocks and pan pipes.

Obviously this isn’t all, I just wanted you to know I’m actually quite far along already.

And (obviously) now that the dwarf thing has been mentioned, I’m quite keen – especially as I am 6′ 5″. On the other hand, this is basically an idea about saying “Look! Aren’t these people different to us in a FUNNY way?” – but maybe that’s OK. Especially if I can get my guests to guffaw and bray and throw bread rolls…

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I am nearly 38 years old – so nearly, in fact, that in two days’ time, I SHALL be 38.

Aging is one of the things that holds absolutely no horror for me: I think that I have done everything that I wanted to do by now (by which I mean, “by this stage in my life”, rather than “my life’s work is done”), and I am still in rude health, which is not something that I take for granted.

What I cannot be arsed with, I have decided, is shit presents. I love presents (probably more than most people: I love giving AND receiving them), but the disappointment that I feel on receiving something that I consider to be ill-thought through or (worst of all) a “joke present” is so intense that I think it’s remarkable that I don’t have a seizure.

What I would like is as follows: DVD recordings of Fiona Shaw’s “Electra”‘ “The Taming of the Shrew”, “The Merchant of Venice” and “Medea” (impossible – they don’t exist, in any form); and purple socks – but DARK PURPLE, not light, or mid purple. Other than that, I don’t really know – but I am sure that Tuesday will bring some very pleasant surprises, as my friends and family actually tend to be rather considerate and imaginative.

However, I include (below) a list of the worst presents that I have ever received. I know that it’s graceless, but I feel that it’s a valuable exercise:-

  1. A carved soapstone dolphin. I was 28: I have no particular interest in dolphins and a positive aversion to “objets”.
  2. Stilton with apricots. This sort of blasphemy makes me very, very angry.
  3. A tie with miniature Father Christmases on it. Hateful. Utterly, utterly hateful.
  4. A set of table mats. This was when I was at University (and whilst I might have been the only student who went up to University with – at my parents’ insistence – an asparagus steamer AND a fish kettle), I think that place-mats printed with hunting scenes was a little bit much.
  5. A jumper with snowflakes and ski-lifts knitted into it. The thing that gets me about this is that it was commercially made, rather than hand-knitted: i.e. – there was enough anticipated demand for these horrors to make them worth designing, making, distributing and retailing. Stupefying.
  6. Lynx Shower Gel.

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No sooner had the last shred of wrapping paper been torn from the last DVD (“Pan’s Labyrinth” – my wife is very keen on Spanish Cinema…) than our youngest son was found to have a temperature of 39 and a family excursion to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital was being planned with all the energy that was originally going into planning where we would go for lunch en famille…


Poor Wife: not a nice way to spend your birthday, although I am sure that Son 2 will be fine.

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Tuesday, 27th November 2007

Today is Eldest Son’s fifth birthday.

He is (along with Wife, Youngest Son and Daughter) the light of my life: kind, clever, funny and beautiful – but he used to be utterly and entirely mad – including his insistence (when he was MORE than able to talk) to insist that his name was “Inna”. This was in spite of the fact that his name couldn’t sound less like “Inna” if his name were “Not Inna”. it bemused us entirely, but also delighted us, as he continues to.

Happy Birthday, my darling perfect boy.

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