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Posts Tagged ‘Jane Felstead’

The time has come to write of Alexandra “Binky” Felstead.
I have been a long-time follower (and let me be very clear: “follower” is entirely different to “stalker”) of Ms. Felstead, the Sophia Loren of “Made in Chelsea” and I have had nothing but admiration and enthusiasm (and frankly, old school lust) for her – but I fear that things have changed.
When first we met, all that time ago in Series One, I liked her. Yes, she was strikingly pretty (and while she is no stranger to a dab of make-up, she is clearly working with very good raw material), which helped – but she also seemed very open, very kind and (probably central to her appeal) very close to her family (her mother – who is probably more age-appropriate for me is also staggeringly attractive and has that heartening quality of seeming ready to rip the throat out of anyone who even dreams of crossing her daughter for a second). She was honest about her feelings for men, frank without being gross about her desires and acted in what seemed to be an entirely fair way in what is a very normal, albeit reasonably privileged, life.
As the series moved on, I saw nothing to make me less and a lot to make me like her more. Her BETRAYAL at the hands of the duplicitous, peroxide-haired gonk Jamie Laing had me ready to mobilise a mob of pitchfork-wielding vigilantes with a keen sense of justice and a readiness to hang out in The Hollywood Arms waiting for the little turd to come bouncing in with his cry of “Hey Boi!”.
This was, however, as nothing compared to the recent revelations about multi-fornicator Alex Mytton (brilliantly described to me as “looking like a Postman Pat garden gnome”) who has been cheating on her on any number of occasions and compounding the offence by claiming to have alcohol-induced “mind blanks” on the nights in question. Obviously, given Ex-Wife’s fondness for, and keen practice of, adultery, there are certain things that press my buttons more than others – and cheating is one of those things. I think (to divert for a second) that whilst it’s always wrong, it’s a good deal worse when you’re in your forties, married and with three children, than it is when you’re single, in your early twenties and the only people involved are adults – but the added layer of his lying about it (and again, that happened to me – so I am not being dispassionate or objective here) made me think far worse of him. In the words of Lucy (who has undergone a transformation from “Utter Cow” to “Straight-Talking Oracle”): “You don’t forget putting your dick in someone else’s vagina overnight.” – so I see Mytton as a double sinner.
My father (who is a very keen follower of these sorts of programmes, and is mourning the absence of “The Only Way Is Essex” from our screens at the moment) is also disgusted with the behaviour of the cliff-haired Mytton, so we have been able to whip ourselves up into mutually-supportive rage, so this has not been a lonely crusade – however, recent developments have rocked the very foundation of our feelings for Binky, and nerves are kicking in about how the narrative is going to play out.
The problem is this: Binky has taken Alex back (fine: some people can do this; some people can’t), but what she has also done is turn on those friends who have taken the position that he is a preposterous bell-end and she is probably not doing the smartest thing. The chief victims are the aforementioned Cassandra of SW3, Lucy, and horse-faced doom monger Cheska.
Cheska is hard to warm to. She does tend to want to take the dark view, see the worst in people and to catastrophise situations – and I can imagine that she’s probably not the kind of person whom one would want to be landed with running the tombola at a country fair. She has history of throwing stones into ponds and standing back with an (even longer) sad face as the inevitable misery unfolds – which is an aspect of Schadenfreude that no-one is likely to want to be famous for. And yet, and yet…there doesn’t appear to be a malicious intent behind what she does: there is probably a bit of naiveté, and a fair dose of “misery loves company” in her behaviour – but Binky has been harsh, dismissive and (I fear to say) selfish and unkind in her treatment of her in the last episode.
My hopes, of course, are that this will prove to be a temporary blip – a fleeting, out of character outburst brought about by some very real unhappiness – and that we will see a return to the Binky whom I have formed such an attachment to in the next episode. If we don’t, then my father and I will have a lot of “Not angry, but disappointed…” work to cover off, and I dont’ think Binky could withstand that.

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