That shitting, benighted, underhand and unethical Bamboo is BACK.
At the moment, it is just a few thick stalks: horticultural erections straining through the earth – but we all know what the bamboo’s game plan is, don’t we? WORLD DOMINATION. Not content with having sucked all the nutrients out of the soil, rendering it about as easy to grow something else there as it would be to grow it in Tarmac, the hideous stuff has to muscle in like an unwanted relative at a reunion.
I don’t know what shape my revenge shall take. But it will be taken – especially as there is a trip to the garden centre lined up for us this morning (there have been more than twenty hours of bright sunshine, so we are compelled to burn all our food in the outdoors from hereon in…), as well as a mission to find a Ceanothus that will mask the bright orange horror that is lurching over the fence from next door. I shall be revenged.
Eiljert Gabbles On 